1 If you weren’t an artist, what else would you be?
2 Name 3 of your least favourite artists.
shepard fairey, ellsworth kelly, neckface
3. Anytime, any place – which artist’s body would you most like to inhabit?
4 What is your favourite ‘ism’?
5 What was the most intelligent thing that someone said or wrote about your work?
6. And the dumbest?
This doesn’t work.
7 Which artists would you most like to rip off, sorry, I mean appropriate as a critique of originality and authorship?
Absolutely no one.
8 Do you care what your art costs? State your reasons!
Of course I do, for the same reasons why you won’t find Chanel at Rite Aid.
9 What are the three big ideas that you would like your work to express?
The magnitude of how no one ever tells the truth these days.
Being besotted with making ignorant ugly things ignorant pretty things.
10 Are you a political artist?
Sometimes. Just not so indolent as most political shit art is.
11 How do you start the process of making work?
I figure out what I’d like to make fun of that day.
12 What next?
Pour a glass of wine.
13 If Moma and the Tate and the Pompidou wanted to acquire one of your works each, which would you want them to have?
The most offensive work I could find.
14 Complete the following sentence “Blessed art the artists, for they shall……”
always be more intelligent than other people.
15 Complete the following sentence “Blessed are the curators, for they shall…”
be lucky to be working with me.
16 Complete the following sentence “Blessed are the art critics, for they shall….”
forever hold their peace.
17. What is your favourite cheese?
18. What’s next for you?
Statement : EAT BABY EAT
Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish? Eight. Eight? Take the whole fuckin’ bowl. You’re really gonna leave some for someone else to have, to hold, to gloat and blow with? Don’t worry about anyone else, you’ve gotta eat, sleep, and blow your way to the top. No matter who you are you are entitled to any and everything on this planet, and the more of it you can find the better you are. Just make sure its’ something of little or no actual value and something that everyone wants. So I’m gonna have it my way, cuz everyones got a little Captain in ’em. This is where a kid can be a kid, can you hear me now? Greed is the breakfast of champions so obey your thirst for the undying need of ultimate artificial satisfaction. Just do it. There’s no need to worry about repercussions, they may sting for a minute but hey, they undoubtedly taste great and are certainly less filling. Let your fingers do the walking and your wallet do the talking. The happiest place on earth isn’t with your family, it’s miles away from ordinary. Hungry? Why wait then, take a bite outta time and throw your kid a cell phone. This is your time to shine. Narcissism does a body good. Diamonds may be forever, but I’m gonna live forever. So when life hands you lemons make lemonade; just be sure to have the right marketing skills to underhand the public and triple your estimated gross profit. In the end, I don’t wanna grow up cause baby if I did, I wouldn’t be an Amer-i-can kid. Eat baby eat.